We stop for the winter and start again in April, deliberately
Looking for somebody who will still be there in the spring
We stop every winter. Not because anything is wrong, but because we live out where a January evening means a drive on a bad highway, and we worked out in our second year that forcing it made everybody resentful.
So from about the middle of November to the beginning of April we do nothing. We stay in touch with whoever we are seeing, we do not see them, and everybody goes back to their own life for four months. It sounds cold written down. In practice it has been the reason two arrangements lasted years rather than a season.
Forty one and forty four, the 905, six years open. She dates, he is at home, and we can host in a house with a garage you can park inside.
What we need is somebody who can genuinely do that. Not somebody who agrees to it and then feels dropped in December, which happened once and was entirely our fault for not being clearer.
Not looking for anyone who needs continuity through the winter, which is a completely reasonable thing to need and simply not what we offer. Not looking for anyone who will treat April as a fresh start with somebody else. Not looking for anything that requires us to be interesting in February, because we are not.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Two people wrote this together, and both of them have to say yes to you. These are the three written for the man on the other end of it.
- What makes a single man read as safe
- Vetting a couple: the screening men skip
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you