We are slower than everybody and we are done apologising for it
Looking for a man who has been told he is patient and can prove it
Two years open and we have met three people. Every single conversation before that took months, and about half the men we spoke to stopped replying somewhere in the middle of it, which we have stopped taking personally.
We are slow because of him, and he would like to say that himself rather than have it explained on his behalf. He needs to know somebody before he is comfortable, and he has learned that if he rushes that he spends the following week feeling strange in a way that is unfair to everyone.
The one arrangement we have had took five months from the first message to anything happening, and lasted a year, and was the best thing either of us has done in this.
Thirty three and thirty six, the west end, two years open, married five. She dates, he is at home for all of it, and we can host in a rented house with a landlord who lives out of town.
Not looking for anyone who says he is patient in the first message. Everybody says that. Tell us instead about a time you waited for something and what you did with the waiting. Not looking for anyone who will be around for three months and then need a decision. Not looking for anyone who reads slow as uninterested.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Two people wrote this together, and both of them have to say yes to you. These are the three written for the man on the other end of it.
- What makes a single man read as safe
- Vetting a couple: the screening men skip
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you