Every conversation gets to the photograph question and most die there
Looking for a couple who will decide on a call rather than an image
Every conversation arrives at the same question and most of them die there. I will do a video call whenever you like. I will meet both of you before anything happens. I will not send a photograph, and after three years of explaining that I have started to find the explanation more tiring than the refusal.
The reason is my work. It is not glamorous and it is not a secret worth guessing at. It simply involves a professional register, a public list and a body that would take a complaint seriously without needing it to be true.
Thirty one, the east end, three years in this. One arrangement, about fourteen months, ended when they left the city.
I can host in a small apartment with a landlord who does not live in the building.
What I want is one couple over a long time, ideally people who have their own reasons to be careful and will find mine ordinary rather than suspicious.
Not looking for anyone who agrees and then asks again in week four, which is what happens roughly every second time. Not looking to be told that everybody sends photographs, because I know. Not looking for a couple who cannot make a decision about a person from a twenty minute call, since I can and I think most people can.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.
- Screening a third as a couple, not alone
- The six things to agree before you answer anyone
- Rules that survive contact with a real evening