I want three meetings before anything happens, and I am the one asking
Looking for a couple who will not find that odd coming from me
Three meetings before anything happens. I am the one who asks for that, which apparently surprises people, and it comes from a bad second arrangement rather than from principle.
That one moved fast because everybody was keen. It fell apart in about seven weeks, and when it did it turned out that the two of them had different understandings of what had been agreed, and I had been in the middle of that without knowing. Nobody was dishonest. There had simply not been enough time for anything to be tested.
So now: a first meeting with both of you, a second some weeks later, and a third before anybody's plans change. It slows things down enormously and it has never once cost me an arrangement I would have wanted.
Thirty nine, downtown, six years in. Three arrangements, the longest two and a half years.
I can host, in a building with the usual front desk situation, and I will travel out of the city without complaint.
Not looking for a couple who want to compress it because it is going well. Not looking for anyone who reads this as a lack of interest, because it is the opposite. Not looking for anything that has to start before the autumn.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.