The community I grew up in would not survive knowing this
Looking for somebody whose discretion does not need to be asked for twice
The community I grew up in is large, close, and entirely present in my life. My parents, my aunts, three of my closest friends and about half the people at every family event. If this were known there, it would not be a scandal that passed. It would be the thing I am, permanently, to several hundred people.
So I do this with a level of care that people who grew up outside that sometimes find excessive. No photographs, ever, of any kind. Nothing written anywhere that connects to my name. Nothing that happens within a considerable distance of where I live. Two men in seven years, both of whom understood without being lectured.
Forty three, North York, married seventeen years, seven of them like this. My husband is from the same place and holds exactly the same rules.
We cannot host and we never will be able to.
What I want is one person over a long time, because starting again means running the whole careful process from nothing.
Not looking for anyone who will tell me attitudes are changing, which they may well be and which does not help me. Not looking for anyone who wants a photograph at any stage. Not looking for anyone who is intrigued by the background, which is not a story, it is my family.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
She is searching with a partner who agreed to it, so read the label carefully before you read anything else.
- Cuckold, hotwife, stag and vixen: the vocabulary map
- She comes with a partner. Vet both of them
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you