There is nobody in my life I can say any of this out loud to
Looking for one or two women who already know what the words mean
I have four close friends, a sister I speak to most days, and not one person I could say a single true sentence to about a large part of my last six years. It is not that I am ashamed of it. It is that the explaining would be enormous, and I would then spend the rest of my life managing what came afterwards.
What I want is a woman or two who already have the vocabulary, so that nothing has to be prefaced. Coffee. A walk. A long message on a Sunday. The ability to say that something happened and have it received as ordinary news rather than an announcement.
Thirty eight, the western suburbs, married eleven years. My husband is fine, we are fine, and this is not a post about difficulty. It is about the specific loneliness of having something significant in your life that has to be edited out of every conversation you have.
I want to say very plainly that I am not looking to meet a man, or a couple, or to be introduced to anything at all. Nothing about my arrangement is on the table here, and this is not a side door into it. If somebody writes to me anyway, and somebody will, I simply will not answer.
I am reasonably good company and not at all sad about my life. I have just noticed that six years of editing yourself in every conversation adds up quietly, and I would like to stop doing it in at least one of them.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Nobody here is asking for a date, so none of this is about arranging one.