I used to be the husband in a post exactly like this one
Looking for a couple who find that history useful rather than alarming
For seven years I was the husband. We were the couple writing the post, doing the video calls, sitting at the end of a bar with a man we had never met while my wife did most of the talking. We divorced three years ago for reasons that had nothing to do with it, and I am now on the other side of the same conversation, which is stranger than I expected.
Forty six, Brooklyn, nine years around this world altogether. What I took from those years is mostly practical. I know how it feels to be the husband in a conversation that has quietly stopped including you. I know how fast a man who is charming to your wife and functional with you becomes unbearable. I know that the couples who did well with us were the ones who asked me things directly and then waited for the answer.
So I am not going to be the man who forgets you are there. I have been you, and I found it lonelier than I ever admitted at the time.
The obvious question is whether I am doing this to relive something, and I have thought about it seriously. I do not think so. I think I liked the world and I am still in it.
Not looking for a couple who want to hear about my marriage. Not looking to give advice unless somebody asks for it. Not looking for anything that begins in a rush.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.