Most of what gets said about single men on this board is fair
Looking for a couple willing to believe one of us might be different
Most of what gets said about men like me on boards like this is fair. We do write to the wife and ignore the husband. We do turn up with a plan for the evening and no questions. We do disappear. I have watched other men do all three and I did one of them myself, in my first year, and it was pointed out to me kindly by a woman who had no obligation to bother.
The difficulty with writing this is that everything I could say to distinguish myself is exactly what somebody lying would also say. There is no sentence that proves it. There is only being willing to go slowly enough that it becomes obvious one way or the other.
Thirty three, Queens, two years in. One arrangement of about five months, ended when they decided to take a break from all of it. No hard feelings, no drama.
What I want is a couple who want somebody around for a long time. I would rather see one couple every three weeks for two years than three couples this month.
I will always write to both of you. I will ask him what he wants out of this and I will believe the answer. If he is vague, or clearly along for the ride, I will step back, and I will say why rather than going quiet, because going quiet is the thing everybody on this board is tired of.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.
- Screening a third as a couple, not alone
- The six things to agree before you answer anyone
- Rules that survive contact with a real evening