This is long on purpose, because two lines is what everyone here complains about

This post is long because every couple on this board says the same thing about men like me, which is that we write two lines and expect a response. They are right. I have read enough of these to know exactly what the complaint is, and the only honest answer is to write something that could not have been sent to anybody else.

Thirty six, Brooklyn, four years in. Two arrangements. The first ran seven months and ended when she decided she did not want to do it any more, which was fine, and which her husband handled better than I did. The second lasted a year and a half and finished when they moved, and I still hear from him more often than from her, which tells you something about how it went.

What I have learned is that almost none of this is about the evenings. It is about being the sort of person who answers a message on a bad Tuesday, who does not renegotiate anything at the door, and who notices when the husband has gone quiet in a conversation.

I would like something ongoing with a couple who already talk to each other properly. I have no interest in being the interesting thing that happens to a marriage.

Not available at short notice. Not interested in being anyone's secret from their own partner, which is a different thing from discretion. Not going to send photographs before a conversation, and I will not ask for any either.