Twenty six, no experience, pressing post before I lose my nerve
Looking for a couple with the patience to explain things twice
Twenty six, never done any of this, and I have rewritten this four times trying to sound like somebody who has. That version was worse, so here is the true one.
Eight months of reading. One long conversation with a couple last winter that went well for three weeks and then quietly stopped, which I understood, because looking back I was answering their questions with what I thought they wanted rather than with what was true.
I share a place in Queens with two other people, so I cannot host anything, and I know that is a serious mark against me here. What I think I can offer is that I will do exactly what is agreed and nothing else, and that I have no bad habits to unlearn. I will not arrive with a script. I will ask before everything, probably too much, and I would rather be told I am being tedious than get something wrong.
I would like to meet both of you several times before anything happens at all. Partly because everyone says that is the right way, and partly because I would be terrified otherwise, and I would rather admit that than perform a confidence I do not have.
Not looking for anyone who finds being new charming, because that wears off. Not looking to be taught in a way that turns me into somebody's project. Not looking for anything quick, which I suspect is the only thing about me that reads as reassuring.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.
- Screening a third as a couple, not alone
- The six things to agree before you answer anyone
- Rules that survive contact with a real evening