I read everything about this and have nobody to argue with
Looking for an argument, conducted in good faith, about all of it
I would like to fall out with somebody about whether any of this is as radical as it thinks it is. Not in a bad way. I mean the thing where two people who broadly agree spend an hour locating the place where they do not, and both go home in a better mood than they arrived in.
Seven years in this, and I read constantly about it: the theory, the memoirs, the arguments people have been having about non monogamy since long before any of us turned up. I have opinions I am fairly confident about and two I suspect are wrong and cannot yet say why, and my husband, who is a good man, listens to all of it with the patience of somebody waiting for a bus.
Forty one, Salford, married fourteen years. He knows about this post and finds it very funny indeed.
What I want is one person, or two, to argue with. Coffee, long messages, either will do. Preferably somebody who disagrees with me about something substantial. Preferably somebody who has read things I have not.
Let me be plain, because this is a board where a woman saying she would like conversation gets answered in a particular way. This is not an opening, it is the entire offer, and there is nothing behind it. If we spend six months arguing about jealousy and you then propose dinner with my husband and me, I will be perfectly nice about it and I will also stop replying, and I would rather say so at the top than do it silently.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Nobody here is asking for a date, so none of this is about arranging one.
- What it is actually like, against what you imagined
- How to tell your partner you want this
- When there is no scene where you live