I used to mention the stick in week four. Now, line two

For four years I told people in about week four, once they already liked me, which I told myself was sensible and which was actually a small con. What it produced twice was a conversation in which somebody had to decide whether they were the sort of person who minded, while liking me, and that is an unfair thing to do to anybody.

So now it is in the second line of the first message. I use a stick. Some days I do not, some days it is bad and I cancel, and stairs are the whole question rather than distance.

What it changes: I need to know about steps up to a front door and whether there is a lift, I would rather not stand about outside, and if you have a first floor flat with a narrow staircase we should talk about that before anybody gets excited. What it does not change: I drive, I go out, I am not fragile and I am not asking anybody to look after me.

Thirty five, out towards Bolton, six years in this. Two arrangements, one of two years and one shorter that ended when she got a job in another city.

Saying it early does cost me some conversations and I have made my peace with that. What I get in exchange is that nobody I meet is quietly working out how to raise it, and I have found that people who are fine with it are fine with it immediately, which is a useful thing to learn in the first week.