I am dreadful at messaging and much better in a room
Looking for a couple who will judge me on how I am in person
I am bad at messaging. Not rude, not slow to reply, just flat. I have had three couples tell me, once we knew each other, that they nearly did not bother meeting me because I came across as uninterested in writing, and all three said the person who turned up was nothing like the messages.
I have tried to fix it and I cannot. What I have done instead is stop pretending, and now I say it early and ask for a call sooner than most people would.
Thirty seven, the South Bay, six years in this, three arrangements, the longest two and a half years, all of which ended for ordinary reasons.
On a call or in a room I am fine. I ask questions, I am funny about a third of the time, and I am the person people end up talking to at parties. On a screen I sound like a form.
I can host and I will drive. Not looking for a couple who want a lot of writing between meetings, because you will find me disappointing. Not looking to be judged on the first three messages, which is a big ask on a board like this and I am asking anyway. Not looking for anything that lives mostly on a phone.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.