Two of us out past the motorway with nobody like us for miles
Looking for another couple near enough for a Sunday lunch
We live in a village where everybody knows what everybody drives, and we have been doing this for nine years without a single person out here having any idea. We are not asking to change that. We would just like to know one other couple within driving distance.
The isolation is not about the arrangement, which is settled and quiet and requires nothing from anyone. It is about the ordinary business of having a large part of your life that cannot come up. Nine years of dinner parties where you edit yourself in real time is tiring in a way that is hard to explain to anybody who has not done it.
Both fifty something, the commuter belt, nine years in. We are not looking for a third and we are not looking for another couple to be involved with in any way at all. We want lunch. We want to be able to say a sentence without checking it first.
If you are two years in and full of questions, we would enjoy that. If you have been at it as long as we have and want to complain about the same things, better still.
Not looking for anything with a second layer to it. Not looking to be part of a group. Not looking for anyone who will treat a Sunday lunch as an opening move, which is precisely why this post exists rather than a shorter one.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Nobody here is asking for a date, so none of this is about arranging one.
- What it is actually like, against what you imagined
- How to tell your partner you want this
- When there is no scene where you live