He drives her there and waits, and that is the arrangement
Looking for somebody entirely relaxed about a husband in a car outside
He drives her there and waits in the car. That is not a euphemism and it is not a control arrangement. It is what makes the whole thing possible for two people who live forty minutes outside the city and have exactly one car between them.
It also turns out to be the part he likes. He has a book, a flask and a habit of falling asleep, and he says the drive home is his favourite hour of the month. We have stopped trying to explain that to people and now simply describe it.
Thirty nine and forty two, commuter belt, four years in this. We are not looking for him to be in the room and he is not hoping to be invited in.
What we need from anybody answering is that this does not become strange for you. Two men have found the idea of a husband in a car outside unnerving in a way that got worse rather than better. We understand. It is easier to say no at the start.
He can host, we cannot, and we will always come to you. She works four days a week so weekday afternoons are much easier than evenings. Not looking for anyone who wants to invite him in for a drink to make it more comfortable. It is comfortable. Not looking for anyone who finds the whole picture funny. It is a bit funny. It is also just how we do it.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Two people wrote this together, and both of them have to say yes to you. These are the three written for the man on the other end of it.
- What makes a single man read as safe
- Vetting a couple: the screening men skip
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you