Forty nine, and I have worked out that this is the actual obstacle
Looking for a couple for whom an older man is the point rather than the compromise
Forty nine. After two years of careful, specific, personalised messages going nowhere, I have concluded that this is not about how I write.
I am not bitter about it and I am not going to argue that anybody should want somebody they do not want. What I will say is that the reasoning I usually get, when I get any, is about energy and about fitting in, and neither has ever been the problem in twenty years of doing this.
What an older man is actually good for, in my experience, is the boring parts. Not panicking. Noticing when the husband is uncomfortable before the wife does. Being entirely relaxed about an evening where nothing happens. Having enough behind me that I am not trying to prove anything with the time I get.
Twenty years, four arrangements, the longest seven years, ended when they emigrated. The west, and I can host, which I mention only because it seems to be the currency here. What I want is one couple, in no hurry, ideally within a decade of me but I am not going to be prescriptive about it when I have just complained about the same thing.
Not looking to be anybody's experiment with an older man, which is a conversation I have had twice and which is oddly insulting from both directions. Not looking to compete on enthusiasm. Not looking for a couple who need convincing about my age, because I am not going to try.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.