I use a stick on a bad day, which changes the logistics
Looking for a couple who will think about the stairs before we get there
I have a condition that affects my hips. Most days I am fine and on a bad one I use a stick, and about once a month I am no use to anybody for two days. That is the whole of it, and I put it in the first paragraph because leaving it to the fourth has never once gone well.
What it actually changes is logistics rather than anything else. Second floor flat with no lift is a problem. A long walk from a station is a problem. Standing in a bar for two hours is a problem, and I would much rather sit down somewhere and talk.
What it does not change is any of the rest of it, and I have found that saying so plainly is better than the alternative, which is people deciding for me.
Forty seven, the west, five years in. One arrangement of three years that ended when they had a child and their life changed shape, entirely amicably.
I can host and my flat is on the ground floor, which is not an accident. Not looking for anyone who is going to be careful with me. Not looking for the conversation where somebody explains that it does not bother them, at length, which bothers me. Not looking for anyone who will quietly stop replying rather than saying that the practicalities are not for them.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.
- Screening a third as a couple, not alone
- The six things to agree before you answer anyone
- Rules that survive contact with a real evening