Skip the paragraph about how respectful you are
Looking for a first message with facts in it
Four messages. That is how long the average man on this board takes to get to anything we could act on. The first establishes that he is respectful. The second establishes that he is discreet. The third asks how our week has been. The fourth is usually a photograph of a shoulder.
We do not need warming up. Forty three and forty one, Neukölln, eight years of this, and we have now heard every reassuring sentence available in the language. Assume we are not fragile. Assume we have been doing this longer than you have. Then tell us something.
Useful: your age, roughly where you live, what your week actually looks like, what you have done before and what ended it. Useless: that you are clean, that you are respectful, that you are discreet, that you understand this is about her. Every single man writes all of that. It carries no information whatsoever and we cannot tell any of you apart on it.
She dates. He is at home and knows the lot. The flat has always been fine for it. We are not a difficult couple to deal with, we are just extremely tired of the overture.
One more thing, since it comes up. We are not being rude to you personally, we are being rude to a genre. Write four sentences with content in them and we will answer inside a day, which is a better reply rate than most of the men who complain about couples like us can honestly claim for themselves.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Two people wrote this together, and both of them have to say yes to you. These are the three written for the man on the other end of it.
- What makes a single man read as safe
- Vetting a couple: the screening men skip
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you