He does every message. I turn up knowing almost nothing
Looking for a man patient enough to be read twice, once by each of us
My husband writes all of the correspondence and I meet people having read none of it. That is my rule and not his, and every man asks why, so it may as well be in the post.
Because I do not want to arrive at a table having already decided. If I read four weeks of somebody's messages I will have built a person out of them, and then I will spend the evening either defending that person or being quietly disappointed in him, and both of those are conversations with myself rather than with the man sitting opposite. What I get in advance is a first name, roughly what he does and roughly where he lives. Nothing else, ever.
He adds: I do the admin, and there is a great deal of it. Something like four hundred messages in six years and I would put nine tenths of them in the category of went nowhere. This is not a complaint. It is a warning that if you write to us you are writing to me, and I will ask you dull practical questions long before you get anywhere near her.
Forty five and forty four, Neukölln, six years of this. Eleven people in that time and three of them lasted beyond a single evening.
Please do not ask to speak to her separately beforehand. It is not a test and there is nothing clever to be won by getting round it. It is simply how this works, and the men who cannot manage it have generally turned out to be men who would have been difficult about something else later.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Two people wrote this together, and both of them have to say yes to you. These are the three written for the man on the other end of it.
- What makes a single man read as safe
- Vetting a couple: the screening men skip
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you