He is not watching. He has never wanted to. Please stop asking
Looking for a man who has read the second paragraph properly
The first message almost always contains the same question, sometimes politely and sometimes not: where will he be, and is he watching. He is not. He has never wanted to be. If you told him it was a requirement he would laugh, and then he would take his book to the other end of the flat.
I understand where the assumption comes from. The whole genre this board sits inside is built on it and half the writing about us assumes it. But it is not us and it never has been, and by the fourth explanation in a month it stops being funny and starts being tiring.
What he actually is: entirely aware, entirely unbothered, at home or out depending on his own plans, and interested afterwards in a general way rather than a forensic one. He is not participating. He is also not tolerating anything, which is the other thing men decide about him. He is a man who is fine.
Forty two, Prenzlauer Berg, married fourteen years, eight of them like this. Four people in that time, two of them long. What I want is one man, regularly, good company, capable of an entire evening that is not about the arrangement.
Not looking for anyone who needs an audience. Not looking for anyone who would rather negotiate the terms with him than with me. Not looking for anyone who will ask the question again in month two, in case the answer has quietly changed.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
She is searching with a partner who agreed to it, so read the label carefully before you read anything else.
- Cuckold, hotwife, stag and vixen: the vocabulary map
- She comes with a partner. Vet both of them
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you