I write plainly because I must, and it reads as cold
Looking for somebody who does not confuse fluency with warmth
English is my third language and this board runs in it, so my messages are short, direct and grammatically careful. I have twice been told that I seem cold. I am not cold. I am working, the working is invisible, and what arrives at your end is a woman who writes like a form that needs filling in.
What I lose is the softening. In my own language I would put three small words around a refusal to take the edge off it. Here I write no, because no is the word I am certain of, and it lands harder than I intended. If something I write seems blunt, please assume the blunt version is not the one I meant.
Thirty five, Neukölln, here six years, married eight, three years like this. My husband knows everything and speaks better English than I do, which is a small daily annoyance I have decided to live with.
I do not apologise for any of the above and I am not asking for allowances. I explain it because the alternative is being misread a third time. If you speak something other than English we could try that instead and I would be delighted, though I have noticed people overestimate their second language precisely when a conversation becomes difficult.
Not looking for anyone who corrects my English, which two men have done and one of them meant it kindly. Not looking for a long written courtship, since writing is the part I am worst at. Not looking for anybody who needs charm before he can be interested.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
She is searching with a partner who agreed to it, so read the label carefully before you read anything else.
- Cuckold, hotwife, stag and vixen: the vocabulary map
- She comes with a partner. Vet both of them
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you