Fifteen closed years, and no crisis at the end of them
Looking for somebody unbothered by two people who took a very long run up
We were closed for fifteen years and then we were not, and what people find unsatisfying is that nothing happened. There was no affair, no crisis, no dead patch anybody was trying to repair. We were happy and we still are. It came out of a long conversation on a train about what each of us thought we had given up, and then about a year of talking, and then this.
I mention it because everybody assumes there must be a reason, and the assumed reason is always damage. When I say there was none it makes people uneasy. A marriage that opens without a wound does not fit the story anybody is expecting to hear.
Fifty one, the western districts, married twenty three years, open for two. One man so far, for most of it, and the whole business has been considerably less dramatic than the fifteen years of not doing it were.
My husband is fine, which I accept is what everybody writes. What I mean specifically is that he kept the conversation going through the year we spent deciding, and that he has never once asked me a question with an edge hidden in it. He is at home. He has never wanted to be present and has not wavered on that.
I would like somebody in their forties or fifties who is long past being impressed by any of this. Good conversation, every few weeks, no urgency about anything, because at this stage urgency is mostly just noise.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
She is searching with a partner who agreed to it, so read the label carefully before you read anything else.
- Cuckold, hotwife, stag and vixen: the vocabulary map
- She comes with a partner. Vet both of them
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you