Four months here, no friends yet, and not looking for an arrangement
Looking for company, walking around, a coffee, and nothing beyond that
I arrived in the spring for work and I know four people, three of whom are colleagues and one of whom is my landlord. I did this for five years in another country and I am not looking to do it here, at least not now, and I am fully aware how that sentence reads coming from a single man on this particular board.
I cannot prove it and I am not going to try. What I can do is be plain about it: I would like somebody to walk around the city with, or have a coffee with on a Saturday, or go and look at something with. That is the entire proposal. If you are a couple, I am not auditioning for anything. If you are a woman in this, I am not warming up to a question I will ask later.
The reason I am posting here rather than somewhere ordinary is that I do not want to build a second social life in which this part of me is hidden again. I did exactly that for three years in my last city and it was lonely in a specific way that is hard to describe to anybody who has not done it.
Thirty two, Neukölln, probably here for several years. My German is enough to be embarrassing and I am working on it. I walk long distances happily and I am glad to be the one who suggests things.
If in a year I want something else, I will write a different post and it will say so at the top. This one is about company.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Nobody here is asking for a date, so none of this is about arranging one.
- What it is actually like, against what you imagined
- How to tell your partner you want this
- When there is no scene where you live