I have read everything written about this and have nobody to disagree with
Looking for somebody who will tell me I am wrong about a chapter
I have read, at a conservative estimate, thirty books and several hundred essays about open marriage, and I have concluded that about a third of it is useful, a third is people describing their own marriage and calling it a theory, and the remaining third is simply wrong. What I lack entirely is anybody to say that to.
My husband is not interested. He does the thing, he is happy, and he regards my reading as a mildly comic hobby, roughly the way one regards a spouse who has taken up birdwatching. The friends who know are supportive in the manner of people who would rather not go into detail. So I have assembled a considerable apparatus of opinions and no opposition at all, which is a poor condition for any set of opinions to be kept in.
Thirty six, Kreuzberg, nine years in this. I want one or two people who have read the same material and disagree with me about it, ideally with some force. I would like to be told that the chapter everybody quotes is the weakest one in the book. I would like somebody to defend a position I find indefensible until I have to think about it properly rather than dismissing it over breakfast.
Coffee, or at length in writing, which I would honestly prefer since I am better on the page. Conversation is the entire proposition here. If you were hoping it was a subtle opening for something else, it is not, and I would be spectacularly bad at that anyway.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Nobody here is asking for a date, so none of this is about arranging one.
- What it is actually like, against what you imagined
- How to tell your partner you want this
- When there is no scene where you live