A husband looking for other husbands, for coffee and nothing else
Looking for other men in my position, purely for company
Everybody in this has somebody. My wife has two friends who know and a whole board of women writing about it. The men who see her have each other, in the loose way men do. I have the internet, and a wife who is obviously not a neutral party when it comes to how being the husband actually feels.
So I would like to know one or two men in the same position. Not a support group and not advice. I am two years in, I am happy, and nothing is wrong that needs fixing. I would simply like to say a sentence about my own life to somebody who does not need the preface first.
Forty five, Kreuzberg. What I picture is a coffee, or a walk, or sitting outside somewhere for an hour talking about work and children and this, in whatever proportion turns up naturally.
To be completely unambiguous, because a post from a husband gets read a particular way here: I am not introducing anyone to my wife, this is not a route to her, and there is nothing available in this except conversation with me. If that is disappointing then it is better to be disappointing now than in a fortnight.
I would be as glad to hear from a man six months in and full of questions as from somebody a decade deep. Possibly gladder. I have a few questions of my own that I have never asked another living person.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Nobody here is asking for a date, so none of this is about arranging one.
- What it is actually like, against what you imagined
- How to tell your partner you want this
- When there is no scene where you live