sloe_and_j
Two years, no move
- Posting sinceAug 2026
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- Posts asCouple
- Mostly inStarting out
We had the conversation in the summer of 2023. Properly, over about three weeks, in the kitchen and on a long drive, and it went as well as these things can go. She was interested. I was relieved. We talked about what we would want and what we would not, and at the end of it we both said yes in a way that neither of us has taken back since.
Then nothing. Two years and nothing at all.
Not one profile, not one social, not one message to anybody. We bring it up perhaps twice a year, usually late, usually after a good evening, and both of us say something warm about it and then we go to sleep and it goes away again for six months.
The thing I cannot work out is whether that is a problem. Nobody is unhappy. She has never once said she has changed her mind. I have never once said it either. If you asked either of us tomorrow whether we still wanted to do this we would both say yes and mean it.
But I am forty four and I am starting to notice that a thing you agree to and never do is not really a thing you are doing.
So: has anyone else sat in this for years and then moved? What moved you? Or is a permanent someday just what this is for a lot of people, in which case fine, I would rather know.