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met someone decent, finally

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16 Aug 2026 #1

heron_and_co

A year of looking

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I am writing this partly to record it because after a year of this I did not think it would happen.

We met someone on Saturday. A drink, the three of us, in a pub in town, about ninety minutes. He was early. He shook both our hands. He asked my husband more questions than he asked me, which I did not expect and which apparently mattered to my husband more than he let on at the time.

Nothing was arranged and nothing was hinted at. He said at one point that he assumed nothing would happen for a while and that he was fine with that, and it did not sound like a line.

We walked to the car and both of us said yes at the same time, which has not happened once in a year of this.

So the question is what now. We have agreed not to decide anything for a week, which felt sensible on Saturday and feels overly cautious today. Is there a normal shape to the second meeting, or do we just carry on as though it is dating, because that is roughly what it feels like.

Also, is it normal to be this nervous about not messing it up?

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Where this goes next

Every thread on this board is somebody in the same few months of their life, told from different ends of it: the conversation that has not happened yet, the one that ended in tears, the drink that went well, and the weeks afterwards. The site has a page for each, and one account of an evening written while it was still fresh.

Elsewhere on the forum

what does everybody actually do with the hours

Started by back_room_light · 10 Aug 2026