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it is booked for the 29th and I have gone completely cold on it

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19 Aug 2026 #1

gable_end

Cold on the 29th

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It is booked for the 29th. Hotel, the three of us for a drink first, my husband going back to the room next door afterwards. All of it agreed, all of it fine, all of it my idea originally.

About ten days ago something in me switched off.

Nothing happened. He has not done anything. The man we are meeting has been perfectly nice throughout and there is nothing about him I could point to. I simply woke up one morning and the whole thing had gone from a thing I was nervous about to a thing I did not want, and it has not come back.

The trouble is I cannot tell what this is.

It might be nerves, which everyone says arrive in the last fortnight and which I was warned about specifically. It might be that a year of planning has worn the appetite out and I need it to be over before it can be interesting again. Or it might be that I have changed my mind, in which case I have to say so to a man who has been waiting a year and has been extremely patient about all of it.

He would say fine. I know he would. He would say it immediately and he would mean it, and that somehow makes it harder, because there would be no argument to have and I would just be the person who did that.

There is also a version of me watching all this from a distance and pointing out that I have never in my life cancelled anything I was frightened of and been sorry.

Two weeks. Does the cold feeling lift, for anybody, or is it a message? And if you have cancelled a first one, did you ever get back to it?

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Where this goes next

Every thread on this board is somebody in the same few months of their life, told from different ends of it: the conversation that has not happened yet, the one that ended in tears, the drink that went well, and the weeks afterwards. The site has a page for each, and one account of an evening written while it was still fresh.

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