Three couples have written to a category and used my name for it
Looking for a couple interested in a specific person, unglamorous version
A message arrived last month describing, in some detail, a man I have never been. It was warm, it was well written, it used my name twice, and it had plainly been composed about an idea long before I turned up to be poured into it. That is the third time, and the third time I answered honestly instead of politely.
What I said was: none of that is me, here is what actually is, and if that is a disappointment then better now than in October. They took it well. We had a good conversation and agreed we were not right for each other, which is a far better outcome than four months of somebody being quietly let down.
So, unglamorously. Thirty eight, the eastern suburbs, five years in. Average in every physical respect. I work in logistics. My conversation is decent, my cooking runs to about four things, and I am better in the second hour than the first.
What I am reliably good at is turning up when I said I would, remembering what people told me weeks earlier, and noticing when somebody has gone quiet in a conversation. That is the whole offer. It reads badly in a headline and it is what kept both of my arrangements running past the year mark.
If there is already a man in your head attached to your post, I would rather not be measured against him. Write to somebody, not to a category.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.