Where I grew up this had no name and here it has a vocabulary

Where I grew up none of this had a name. It happened, quietly, between people who never discussed it in those terms, and the first time I saw the vocabulary written down was after I moved here two years ago.

That has been a strange adjustment. At home the whole thing was understood without being spoken about, which had its own problems, chiefly that nobody negotiated anything. Here everything is on the table, in writing, with a word for each part, and I think that is better. I am simply slower at it than somebody who grew up with the language.

Thirty five, Brooklyn, four years of experience that took place somewhere else and does not translate cleanly.

What I would like is a couple who will not mind that I occasionally ask what a phrase means, and who will say directly when I have got the etiquette wrong rather than deciding I am rude. My English is fine. The customs are the part I am still learning, and every mistake I have made here has been about that rather than about intention.

I have a place of my own and ordinary hours, so most evenings are free. Not looking for anyone whose main interest is where I am from. Not looking to be anybody's idea of exotic, which has been said to me twice and both times ended the conversation. Not looking for a couple who cannot be direct, because indirect does not survive the translation.