Several hundred people work where I work and none of them can ever know
Looking for somebody whose discretion is a habit rather than a promise
There are several hundred people where I work and not one of them can ever know about this. That is not modesty. My field is small, everybody moves between the same handful of places, and a rumour would follow me for the rest of my career.
So I do this carefully and have done for six years. No photographs anywhere. No details that would let anybody place me. I do not say what I do beyond the fact that it involves a licence I would like to keep. Three men in six years, all told the rules in the first week, all of whom kept to them.
Forty five, Manhattan, married sixteen years. My husband knows every part of it and helped write those rules, several of which were his and stricter than mine.
What I want is somebody for whom discretion is simply how he lives rather than a favour he is doing me. In my experience the men who are safest about it are the ones with something of their own to protect, and the ones who promise the most are the ones who tell a friend within a month.
I am good company, I read a great deal, and I like being taken somewhere quiet. Not looking for anyone who wants photographs at any stage. Not looking for anyone who assumes the rules will loosen once we know each other, because they never have. Not looking for anyone who cannot cope with being told very little for quite a long time.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
She is searching with a partner who agreed to it, so read the label carefully before you read anything else.
- Cuckold, hotwife, stag and vixen: the vocabulary map
- She comes with a partner. Vet both of them
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you