I will answer the questions nobody wants to put in a post
Looking for newer women who want somebody unembarrassed to ask
I will answer your questions. That is the whole offer and there is nothing attached to it, which I am aware is a sentence people are right to be suspicious of on a board like this.
Eleven years in. When I started there was nobody to ask, so I got several things wrong that a ten minute conversation would have prevented, and one of them cost me most of a year. The questions I would have asked, if I had had anybody, were all embarrassingly practical. What do you actually say to your husband afterwards. How do you tell somebody you have changed your mind without a scene. What do you do about the friend who has worked it out.
Forty eight, Manhattan, married a long time. I am not offering wisdom, because half of what I believe is probably just what happened to work for me. I am offering an unembarrassed adult who will not be shocked by anything.
Coffee, or messages, or a long phone call. I have done this for four women over the years and two of them are now proper friends.
I am not looking to meet anybody's husband. I am not looking for an arrangement, I have one, and it is settled. If you are writing because you think this is a route to something else, please do not. Not looking to be anybody's counsellor either, because I am not qualified and I would be bad at it.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Nobody here is asking for a date, so none of this is about arranging one.
- What it is actually like, against what you imagined
- How to tell your partner you want this
- When there is no scene where you live