A single man asking for friends, which I know reads as a tactic
Looking for people in this world to be actual friends with
A single man on this board asking for friendship reads as an opening move, and I have no way to prove otherwise except to say it plainly and let people decide for themselves.
Six years around all this. Two arrangements, one of them two years, both ended for ordinary reasons. What I noticed after the second finished is that I had built an entire social life out of one couple, and when it ended I had almost nobody left who knew this about me at all.
Thirty eight, Queens. What I want is people. Couples, women, other single men, any of it. I would like to be invited to things. I would like a conversation about something other than the mechanics of an arrangement, with people who happen to know what my life contains.
If somebody eventually introduced me to somebody, that would be a nice accident, and I am not going to insult anyone by pretending it would be unwelcome. But I am not writing this in order to be introduced, and if that distinction does not survive contact with reality, fair enough.
I cook properly, I am reliable about a plan, and I am much better in a group than one to one. Not looking to attach myself to a couple who already have everything they need. Not looking to be somebody's spare man at a dinner. Not looking for anything that requires me to be interesting on demand.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Nobody here is asking for a date, so none of this is about arranging one.
- What it is actually like, against what you imagined
- How to tell your partner you want this
- When there is no scene where you live