I move slowly enough that I have been called hard work
Looking for a couple who find a slow start reassuring rather than tiresome
Three months is my shortest. That is measured from a first message to anything happening, across three arrangements, and it is not a policy so much as the speed at which I actually operate. A couple told me last year that I was hard work. They were smiling when they said it, and they also stopped replying a fortnight later.
Thirty six, out towards Bolton, eight years in this.
What the time gets spent on is mostly boring. I want to know how the two of you decide things. I want to know what happened the last time somebody let you down, and what you did about it. I want to have met the husband on his own once, for an hour, with nothing at stake, because in my experience the thing that goes wrong is nearly always something he has not said. And I want to have been around long enough that if either of you changed your mind, you would find it easy to tell me.
I recognise that this can read as caution bordering on the ridiculous. It is not anxiety. I am not frightened of any of this. I have simply watched arrangements that started in three weeks come apart in month four for reasons that were all visible in week two, and I would rather find them at the beginning.
If your preference is to meet quickly and see how it feels, we are a poor fit, and there is nothing wrong with either of us.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.