No, he is not hiding in the wardrobe, and he never has been
Looking for somebody who takes the answer at face value
A man once asked me, in all seriousness, whether my husband would be in the house. I said no. He asked whether he would be in the building. I said no. There was a pause, and then he asked whether there was any chance at all that he might be, and I understood that what he wanted was for the answer to be yes, and that we had been having two different conversations for a fortnight.
Forty four, the city centre, seven years of this. My husband is at work, or at his brother's, or at home with his headphones on and a documentary about submarines. He is not in a wardrobe. There has never been a wardrobe.
I do not mind the question and I do mind the third time it is asked. By then it is not curiosity, it is a man hoping the arrangement is more theatrical than it is, and when he finds out that it is not, he loses interest around week five and I have wasted a month.
So, plainly: he knows everything, he chooses to be elsewhere, he hears a version afterwards and stops me when he has heard enough, and that is a complete description with nothing left out of it.
What I would like is one person, occasionally, who can manage dinner and a conversation and does not need any of it to be a scene from something. If that sounds flat, it is not. It is ordinary, which took me about four years to be comfortable saying out loud.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
She is searching with a partner who agreed to it, so read the label carefully before you read anything else.
- Cuckold, hotwife, stag and vixen: the vocabulary map
- She comes with a partner. Vet both of them
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you