She is open about this at work and he can never be
Looking for somebody who can hold two different levels of privacy at once
She works somewhere this is unremarkable and half her colleagues know. He works somewhere it would end his career, and nobody there will ever know. Both of those are true in the same house and they make for an odd set of rules.
What it means practically is that she is relaxed about being seen, and he is not, and anybody involved with us has to hold both at once. She will happily have a drink somewhere public on her side of town. He will not be in a photograph, will not be tagged in anything, and does not attend anything after a first meeting.
It has caused exactly one row in five years, when a man we both liked mentioned her by name in a group he was in. Nothing came of it. It took four months for him to stop feeling sick about it.
Thirty three and thirty nine, the east side, five years open. We can host.
Not looking for anyone who finds the asymmetry funny. Not looking for anyone who will apply her rules to him because they are easier to remember. Not looking for anyone who talks about who he is seeing, in any setting, at all, which we will ask about directly and which is the only thing that would end an arrangement immediately.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Two people wrote this together, and both of them have to say yes to you. These are the three written for the man on the other end of it.
- What makes a single man read as safe
- Vetting a couple: the screening men skip
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you