His face is on advertising all over our neighbourhood, which decides everything
Looking for discretion from somebody who already lives that way
He sells houses and his face is on advertising all over the area we live in. People recognise him at the supermarket. That is the whole context for everything below and it is why this post is shorter and vaguer than we would like it to be.
We do nothing near home. No photographs of either of us, at any stage, ever. No first meetings within a considerable radius. He does not attend anything until we are a long way into knowing somebody, and even then he is careful about where. None of this is enjoyable and all of it is necessary.
Thirty seven and forty three, the Westside, two years in this. She dates. He knows every part of it and set most of the rules, which he would tell you were his idea and slightly excessive.
What we want is one man over a long time, because starting again means running the whole careful process again from nothing.
We can host, which solves most of it. Not looking for anyone who wants a photograph before meeting. Not looking for anyone who will find the caution flattering or exciting, because it is neither, it is just admin. Not looking for anyone who will keep the rules until he feels comfortable and then relax them.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Two people wrote this together, and both of them have to say yes to you. These are the three written for the man on the other end of it.
- What makes a single man read as safe
- Vetting a couple: the screening men skip
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you