Fifty eight, and I have watched this whole thing change three times
Looking for a couple who want somebody with a long memory
Twenty six years in this. I have watched how people find each other change three separate times and I am not convinced any of it counts as progress, though the way people talk about health and agreement now is enormously better than it was.
Fifty eight, the east side. Five arrangements, two of which ran more than five years. One of those couples I still have lunch with every couple of months, twenty years after it stopped.
What I offer is that almost nothing surprises me and I do not panic. If something goes sideways in month three, I have seen that version of sideways before and I know it is usually smaller than it feels at the time.
What I want is one couple, unhurried, ideally people who are not in a rush to get anywhere. I have a house, I can host, my time is largely my own now.
Not looking for anyone who wants to hear war stories, which are mostly boring and always unflattering to somebody. Not looking to be an elder statesman, a phrase somebody used and which made me want to lie down. Not looking for anybody who needs a lot of intensity, because I am not going to be able to keep up and I would rather say so.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.
- Screening a third as a couple, not alone
- The six things to agree before you answer anyone
- Rules that survive contact with a real evening