Four years of this and none of it has happened in a room
Looking for a couple willing to be the first people I actually meet
Everything I have done in four years has happened through a screen. Two long conversations with couples, one of which ran nearly a year and involved more honesty than most of my friendships. Neither of them ever became a meeting, for reasons that were geographical the first time and mine the second.
I am thirty six, in the commuter belt, and I have never been in a room with a couple doing any of this.
The second time is the one I think about. They were an hour away, they suggested a drink, and I found four reasons across six weeks why it could not be that month until they stopped asking. Nobody did anything wrong except me, and it took a while to admit that the distance had been an excuse.
So I am posting for the specific thing. A couple willing to meet somewhere ordinary, in daylight, for an hour, with nothing attached and no expectation that it leads anywhere that day. If it goes well, again. If it does not, I will say so rather than going quiet, which is the one thing I have promised myself.
I can host, oddly enough, which makes the four years look even sillier written down. Not looking for anyone who wants to keep this online, because I have done four years of it. Not looking to be reassured at length. Not looking for a couple who need somebody with a history.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.
- Screening a third as a couple, not alone
- The six things to agree before you answer anyone
- Rules that survive contact with a real evening