Eleven years in, and blunt about it to save us a fortnight
Looking for a couple who have already decided what they want
Eleven years, five arrangements, two of which ran over three years. I am going to be blunt here because in this city that saves everybody a fortnight, and because the couples I get on with best are the ones who write the same way.
What I want: one couple, seen every two or three weeks, ongoing, with the husband knowing everything and being part of the conversation. What I do not want: anything occasional, anything with several couples, anything where I am not allowed to know how it works.
What I will always do: meet you both first with nothing after it, ask about health and testing in the first fortnight and answer the same, and tell you if I am seeing anybody else.
What I will not do: pretend to be new when I am not, send photographs before a conversation, or take part in something where one of you has clearly been persuaded. I have walked out of two of those and I do not regret either.
Forty two, the east. I can host, and I will travel to the far side of the city for something worth having. Not looking for a couple in their first year. That is not snobbery. It is that I am impatient in exactly the way a new couple does not need. Not looking for anyone who wants a long warm up. Say what you want and we will both know inside a week.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.
- Screening a third as a couple, not alone
- The six things to agree before you answer anyone
- Rules that survive contact with a real evening