A blended household, an ex-wife who is around, and a lot of care
Looking for somebody who understands why we are careful about small things
I am the second wife. His first wife is present in our lives, reasonably and permanently, and this household is a negotiated peace that took years to build and that I am not willing to put at risk for an evening. That single fact governs every practical decision I make about any of this.
It does not mean secrecy in the dramatic sense. My husband knows everything, obviously, and was part of deciding it. It means our home is not available, that my week has fixed points in it I cannot move, and that I will not be somewhere I might be seen by anybody inside a fairly wide circle of people who all know each other and talk to each other constantly.
Forty three, Prenzlauer Berg, four years open. One man for three of them, which ended when he moved away, and nothing since, mostly because starting again means explaining all of the above and I have not had the energy for it.
So I need somebody with his own place, patient about scheduling, and genuinely unbothered by a woman who checks things twice before she agrees to them. The men who struggled were not badly behaved. They simply kept proposing solutions, and after the fourth suggestion about how easily it could all be managed, I stopped replying.
There are children in this household. They are not a subject for discussion beyond that sentence, I will not talk about them, and I would rather not be asked.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
She is searching with a partner who agreed to it, so read the label carefully before you read anything else.
- Cuckold, hotwife, stag and vixen: the vocabulary map
- She comes with a partner. Vet both of them
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you