Journals and blogs discussion

My mind is free even though my body is locked. I’ve always been a calm, kind person who treats others well. Heck, I do the dishes, walk the dog, take out the trash, and mow the lawn. If you think being that “good husband” type of guy is what drives me here, then you’re mistaken.

I suppose life gives us the choice to control our mind or our body, but rarely both at once. That’s exactly my goal: to manage my sexual urges without masturbating and without watching porn. It brings a newfound freedom in energy and awareness.

Here where I live, there is a common saying across America regarding youth: “There are 3 things you’ll do by your age: 1) sex 2) drugs 3) alcohol” I agree that life revolves around Sex, Drugs, and Alcohol. But I disagree that my life is primarily about those three.

To give you a bit of background on me. Back to chastity: For my 20th birthday, I bought the black CB-3000 version to help stop masturbation. I don’t “need” porn to wank; I have my mind. However, the sensation of a “forced orgasm” that leaves you feeling high and dry constantly is a major turn-off for me. Especially when it causes sharp pain in your testicles that pinches at you. Then you want to stop to avoid the discomfort and slowly work up to cumming again. I’ve also suffered from sex headaches which are incredibly painful. My legs cramp up, and my feet feel tight during orgasm. It hurts.

Sex headaches affect me like this:

1. A stabbing pain in the head - it doesn’t fade for the WHOLE ENTIRE DAY. It can last all day before subsiding on its own. I prefer to work through them naturally rather than taking medicine, though if I do take meds, they help. These headaches were frequent, and they get even worse when you already have a headache from having cummed, then cum again.
2. Stomach issues - my stomach feels “full,” as if I’ve just eaten. So I call it the “sex” diet when you orgasm repeatedly. You don’t feel hungry. And yes, you lose weight lmao. I don’t work out much but I drink green tea and eat fruits and vegetables. I do not drink soda, do coffee, do alcohol, no drugs, no smoking, no pot, no poppers, no crack, no cocaine
3. Physical weakness/drained energy- I remember the burst of energy I had before masturbating. It felt like a rush. Running for as long as I wanted, playing basketball and tennis too. I stopped playing sports in school because of porn and masturbation. I didn’t hang out with the crowd that smoked or drank alcohol because I knew my parents would find out. Then I busted my ass to keep it secret (kingdom come). They never caught me masturbating (not once) nor watching porn.;p I remember when I was in school, around 13, 14, 15, up until now. I’d go to school and do my work. Then at home, I’d masturbate and fall asleep by 3:00 pm or 4:00 pm in my room. Then wake up early like 3:00 am to do homework and repeat the cycle. I forced myself to sleep after an orgasm because it felt so good. It was a cycle I couldn’t break, but it was damn fun. This has always been with me. It frustrates me that nothing seems wrong with me on blood tests, physical exams, ultrasounds, x-rays, or any other amazing checkup. Yet I learned that “chastity” can stop this in me and heal me back to my former self. I want to exercise but hate my current state. If I ever master chastity, I swear I’ll stay with it forever and go on with my life. It is that toxic to me.
4. Vomiting from orgasm- when I eat food then after a few minutes jerk off and cum. My stomach gets tight; if I keep going and have one orgasm after another (which I did), my stomach would get upset, and I would throw up. It’s like the rule: “wait 30 minutes after you ate your meal before you enter the water.” I can’t count how many times I threw up after dinner saying, “my stomach must be upset from stress at school.” That excuse worked for my parents. And I’d eat in my room and have my own bathroom too. I’m a lucky guy:)
5. Dark circles under eyes- only when I turned around 20 years old did I notice the dark circles under my eyes. I do go to sleep each night and get a solid 7~8 hours of chastity rest a night. But when I looked online for “over masturbation” which leads to “sexual exhaustion” which leads to “dark circles under eyes.” I don’t know if I have permission to link to other websites here. Don’t want to break the rules but sexual exhasution is real.(Going bald is a symptom of sexual exhasution too. Am not bald yet.) I have it and if my penis was a leggo block I’d want to rip it out of place until I was better again to put it back on. 519---block.jpg I’m no angel. I like some kinky stuff. The feeling if something in my ass is such a turn on. I’ve been putting my own fingers up my ass since I was 14 after seeing a gay porn guy doing it to himself. I was scared but its that same scary feeling I had when I first started shaving my penis, scrotum and all the down to my butt crack. The hair didn’t all grow in at once. At 14 I started growing hair on my face so I finally got a razor. Oh yea why do I shave myself completely bald? Answer: **Pubic hair makes me ITCHy as hell. It’s like mosquito bites on my crotch.**It’s why I made an xtube account. I can’t cum in a CB-3000 nor do I leak any precum. I WISH I could leak like a girl who’s turned on and her panties has a visible stain in it. God that’s so hot. Anyway I kept trying to put on the CB 2000 over and failed. Then I tried again and failed. Failing over and over and over is why I came here. I couldn’t take this much longer it costs alot of money to buy one. I also did like next-day air delivery so my parents wouldn’t open it up. (Yes, they have opened up packages of mine.) I got very very lucky and was home and got the package in my hand. And signed for it too. (*’-’)

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Now I’m in chastity here at the community.:) Today Monday, May 10th 2010. I have tried another setup. Didn’t make a post to ask if the fit was considered “good” or “bad”. I am not apart of dungeon in real life, not apart of a keyholder, not apart of anything. If I can get the professionals here for there advice to stay healthy & locked up without paying a monthly subscription then I hit the jack pot. Which I already have:) As of this writing today it is my second day straight without taking off my CB-3000. It’s a new setup of ring/spacers/locking pin. But I just don’t want to act like a spoil brat who makes a new post each day with a picture . As if I’m saying “hey! look at me every single day! I’m important.” . I’m not stupid enough to fall for that trap, besides no one wants to help out an asshole. I don’t know if I should post after today and officially on my third day locked up or wait a few more days. Maybe after 1 week, I’ll post a few pictures and explain what I’ve been doing. I know 1 thing: you need to stay extremely clean. if your flithy and have cheese growing inside of your chastity, you just failed and have to stop. wrecking your chastity life. I make xtube videos just for fun. It’s not great movie editing and movie making I do but it is fun. Just a way to vent while locked up in chastity. I’m not afraid to have fun in chastity but I can’t cum so that automatically makes my style of videos out the window. No one will ever see me famous for it. But it’s like I feel I can express myself through it. I’ve wanted to write some ch

Chastity, spanking tales, and a bit of kink. I haven’t quite organized my thoughts yet.

This is finally the dream coming true: To have a female keyholder who truly cares for me. Genuine love, not just a femdom arrangement where I pay her off. I enjoy having women in charge—like being spanked when I act like a “bad boy.” The pain from spanking helps keep my mind off chastity, acting as another layer to maintain control over me. While I can manage myself quite well, there’s always what the belt governs that remains outside my direct control. And regarding sex, she decides completely whether or not it happens. I love giving oral or receiving anal penetration. But again, it’s her call if a real man joins in for some action. It would be nice if she uses a strapon. She might find the idea of another guy involved somewhat gross, yet still appreciate the sensation of owning my penis purely for her enjoyment. That’s how it ought to work: let women hold the power, not men. Too many men treat women like toilet paper—using them up and discarding them before moving on to someone new. I’m different from that crowd. I’m a messed-up kind of guy.

#1 post closes at 1:41 pm eastern time today, Monday, May 10th 2010. Thank you everyone in the community for your support and advice on chastity. Thank you all very much!!!