Captions Crafted by the Women Who Hold the Keys

Countless blogs and tumblr pages are devoted to the “chastity caption” genre. Obviously a lot of guys find these to be a titillating transport into a fantasy world with a perfect keyholder. But it does seem that the form has gotten stale and repetitive. How many different variations can there be on the theme of “only two more months to go honey, and maybe I’ll consider letting you have an orgasm—if you’ve managed to keep me happy in the meantime …” Usually the voice of the caption is that of the woman depicted in the image, but sometimes the words come from an unseen narrator observing and commenting on the situation. (“She only agreed to try chastity play ‘for a day or two’ because you pestered and begged her… but now it’s been two weeks and no end in sight.”) In any case, the implied hearer of the caption is nearly always the cock-locked male. This makes sense, I suppose, since the whole chastity thing is mostly a male fantasy. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. As a way to revitalize captioning, I hereby offer a challenge for all the creative people on the forum. Can someone create some good captions for keyholders? That is, captions where the logic and structure of the scene assumes a woman/keyholder as the listener to what the caption is saying. In case my point isn’t clear, I can refer you to the series of “Porn for Women” books that came out a few years ago. These were captioned images mostly of attractive men saying things like “it’s Super Bowl Sunday, so there probably won’t be long lines if we go drapery shopping this afternoon.” Search “Porn for Women” on Amazon, or go to someplace like … women.html for actual examples. Regardless of the specific content, the ‘voice’ of all these images is clearly addressing an audience of women, in contrast with the voice of all chastity captions that I’ve seen. So the challenge is essentially to come up with an expressly chastity themed riff on “Porn for Women” (or point me to a tumblr that is already doing this). It occurs to me that such a project might be a useful resource in the eternal ‘how do I convince my skeptical/reluctant wife to be my keyholder’ dilemma. Or it might simply be an alternative perspective that re-injects a little hottness in the tired captioned image field.