We are asking for years, and we know that is an unusual opening bid
Looking for one man who is not in any hurry to get somewhere
Everything we have had lasted between six weeks and four months, and every single one ended for the same reason, which is that it was never built to last longer. Nobody ever said so. It was in the shape of the thing from the first message onward. Two enthusiastic months, a slower third, and a fourth in which somebody stops replying quickly.
So we are stating the ask at the top this time. We want a person for years. Not exclusivity, not a promise, not a contract. Simply somebody whose intention from the outset is a long, low, unremarkable thing that survives a bad month, a busy January and a stretch where nobody much feels like it.
Thirty four and thirty six, the eastern suburbs, five years open. He is present for all of the early stages and has no interest in disappearing from the picture later on. She is the one being met, and she is the one most worn down by starting again.
The reason the short version does not suit us is not romance. It is that the first three months of anything are the expensive part: the vetting, the introductions, the constant low-level nervousness. We are not willing to keep paying that every quarter for an evening or two on the other side of it.
If you know from experience that you get restless around month four, say so and we will part on excellent terms. That is useful information rather than a failing.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Two people wrote this together, and both of them have to say yes to you. These are the three written for the man on the other end of it.
- What makes a single man read as safe
- Vetting a couple: the screening men skip
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you