Two people in nine years, and variety has never been the point
Looking for one man for a long stretch, and nothing resembling a rotation
Two. One for five years, one for three, with a quiet gap in between, and if that sounds thin for nine years then we want very different things and there is no argument worth having about it. I have never wanted a range of people. I wanted one person, known properly, over years.
The five year one ended when he remarried, which was the right decision for him, which I helped him think through, and which still made for the strangest autumn I have had. The three year one ended in March when he moved back to where his family are.
Forty eight, the north shore, nine years of this. My husband has met both of them many times. Not present, not involved, simply on ordinary terms with a man who was in our life for years at a time.
In practice this means I am very slow at the start and then extremely steady. The first three months with either of them were almost entirely conversation. I will not be a good fit for anybody hoping to begin something this month.
Not looking for a man who is seeing several people. That is not a moral position, it simply does not produce the thing I am after. Not looking to be one option among a set.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
She is searching with a partner who agreed to it, so read the label carefully before you read anything else.
- Cuckold, hotwife, stag and vixen: the vocabulary map
- She comes with a partner. Vet both of them
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you