I ask direct questions and give direct answers, and I know how that lands
Looking for a couple who would rather be asked than guessed at
I am autistic. In practice that means I will ask what you want in plain words and answer the same way, and that I will not be running the parallel conversation of hints and implications that this board appears to operate on. I have been told this is blunt. It is not intended as bluntness. It is the only way I can be reliably accurate.
The things I ask early: what is agreed between the two of you, what is not, who decides, what happens if one of you wants to stop, and how you would prefer to tell me that. None of those is a challenge. They are the questions I would want asked of me.
Where I struggle is the unspoken part. If something is wrong and nobody says so, I will not work it out from tone, and I will keep going cheerfully in the wrong direction until somebody tells me plainly. So the one thing I need is people who will say it. Say it flatly. I will not be hurt by flat.
Thirty four, the western suburbs, three years around this. One arrangement of two years that ended when they moved interstate, and we still exchange messages a few times a year.
The upside, and both of them said this independently: I do exactly what was agreed, every time, and I never quietly want something other than what was discussed. Nothing gets renegotiated by mood.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Answering as a couple means screening him together rather than one of you doing it privately. Start here.
- Screening a third as a couple, not alone
- The six things to agree before you answer anyone
- Rules that survive contact with a real evening