We can host, which we have learned is worth more than anything else
Looking for somebody who wants an ordinary evening rather than an occasion
We have a house with a gate, a garage you can park inside, no shared walls and an extremely unhelpful dog. In five years of doing this, that combination has mattered more than anything either of us has ever written in a post.
What it buys is not privacy exactly. It is ordinariness. Nobody arrives having spent money, nobody is watching a clock, and an evening can turn out to be dinner and a long conversation with nothing else, which has happened plenty of times and is not a failure.
Forty one and forty five, the Orange County side, five years in. Three arrangements, the longest two years, ended when he took a job up north. She dates. He is in the house but not the room and that has never changed. He cooks, which several people have found stranger than the arrangement itself.
The trade off is where we are. It is a real drive from most of this board and we are not going to pretend otherwise, so anybody answering should look at a map first and be honest with himself.
Not looking for anyone who wants to be taken out constantly. Not looking for anyone who cannot make a weeknight work. Not looking for someone who needs an occasion, because what we have is a Tuesday.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Two people wrote this together, and both of them have to say yes to you. These are the three written for the man on the other end of it.
- What makes a single man read as safe
- Vetting a couple: the screening men skip
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you