Her work takes her out of state for months at a time
Looking for somebody who can live with a calendar that disappears
Her work takes her out of state for three or four months at a stretch, two or three times a year, and it has done for a decade. Everything about how we do this is shaped by that and it is the main reason arrangements here have ended.
What happens is always the same. Three or four good months, then she goes, then three months of messages that gradually thin out, then she comes back and it has quietly stopped being a thing. Twice the man has been perfectly honest about it and once he simply vanished, which was worse.
Forty and forty four, the east side, seven years open. She dates when she is here. He is at home, knows everything, and by now is used to the rhythm of it.
So we are looking for somebody whose own life has gaps in it. People who travel for work, people with their own seasons, people who are content to pick something up after a break rather than needing continuity.
We can host, and her weeks here are genuinely free because she is between jobs by definition. Not looking for anyone who needs constant contact. Not looking for anyone who will be understanding about the absences in month one and hurt about them in month five. Not looking for anyone who has never had to plan around somebody else's work.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
Two people wrote this together, and both of them have to say yes to you. These are the three written for the man on the other end of it.
- What makes a single man read as safe
- Vetting a couple: the screening men skip
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you