He is in the room, his idea, and I was surprised to like it
Looking for somebody genuinely unbothered by a third person in the room
He is in the room. That was his suggestion, not mine, and I agreed to it as a compromise and then found out over the first year that I preferred it, which neither of us had predicted.
I have thought about why. The nearest I can get is that it makes the whole thing ours rather than mine, and that I stopped having to describe it afterwards, which I was never very good at. He sits with a drink and mostly says nothing. Twice he has left partway through, which we had agreed he could, and both times he came back.
Thirty eight, the commuter belt, married ten years, three of them like this. What I need is somebody for whom this is simply how the evening is, rather than something he is being brave about. There is a particular kind of man who says yes and then spends the entire time performing for my husband instead of talking to me, and I have had that twice and it is a strange evening for everybody.
We can host, which I gather is rare enough to be worth stating.
Not looking for anyone who wants to work up to it. Not looking for anyone who thinks the arrangement is really about him and my husband. Not looking to be asked whether I would prefer it without, because I have answered that above.
Before the first drink Replying goes through the connected platform, so nothing about you is shared until you decide to share it. Take contact slowly and keep identifying details back until trust is earned. Meet somewhere public the first time, with your own way home from it, and if you are a couple then go together. Tell someone outside it where you are going. Never send money to someone you have not met. And if a post or a reply reads wrong, flag it rather than talking yourself out of the feeling.
Before you answer a post like this
She is searching with a partner who agreed to it, so read the label carefully before you read anything else.
- Cuckold, hotwife, stag and vixen: the vocabulary map
- She comes with a partner. Vet both of them
- The first meeting: a drink, all three of you