fen_and_t
Wrote the rules, regrets them
- Posting sinceAug 2026
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Slightly late realisation on our part.
We have been doing this for about nine months with the same person, and last week my wife mentioned in passing that he had taken a couple of photographs on his phone at some point during the evening. Nothing explicit, nothing anybody would object to on its own, and she had been entirely happy about it at the time.
Then we both sat there and realised we have never once discussed what happens to anything like that.
Not what is allowed to be taken. Not who keeps it. Not whether it gets deleted, or when, or how anybody would know.
He is a decent bloke and I do not for a second think he has done anything with them. That is not really the point. The point is that we have carefully agreed about a dozen things and this was never one of them, and it is quite obviously more consequential than half the things we did agree about.
What do other people do? Is a blanket nothing at all the sensible rule, or is that unnecessarily strict? And how do you raise it nine months in without it sounding like you have started suspecting somebody?